breaking down borders

It is in the midst of night
my heart awakens
slamming violently upon my chest
grieving and begging to be set free
I awake in horror
of knowing it’s real
I beg and plead for it to settle
I block from my eyes
the visions of you
Eluding to me holding you
leading to a feeling
of the mounting emotion
upon what line I stand
wavering reality and fairy land
a huge misconception
That I can be loved
or even be allowed to love
Voices from the past
rape my mind
and push my heart back
to the other side
I brave the temptation of sleep
welcoming the blackness
and the quiet
forcing images of you out
resounding morbid poetry
slung aloud (least I should hear your voice)
my own terror of a lullaby
fighting to close my eyes
and I can’t
I cannot go with my emotions
I cannot force myself to listen
to me
I’ve made so many poor choices
so many
that I sit and allow
life to happen to me
If I listen to my heart
It screams for mercy
to tolerate
love and trust
my soul seeks to be touched
the challenge of love
knowing someone out there
you
may be right
oh how nice
it would be
to surrender
open my heart
say
here I am
let me love you
you will find not another
as patient and loyal and true
as I
offer to me
what I seek
allow love to flow
with no boundaries
allow me to touch you
as you touch me
and feel you soul to soul
an embrace
a look
a touch
an action
of breaking down the borders